Parenting - a pleasure

Why Children lie?

This was a question that was keep nagging me. The question again got stronger when my sister narrated a story regarding my niece. Let me narrate it here.

The father of the child had sent few dry fruits to the house and given the instruction to open the pack only when he reaches home. But you know kids! The child opened the box and started distributing it to her friends saying her father had sent it to her. But when her mother found that she is taking it and distributing it to her friends, mother asked, are you giving it to your friends??? The answer came “NO”.

Let’s analyze why the child told No, when she asked the question.

I am sure, a lot of analysis would have gone inside the child’s mind as in ‘ if  i am going to tell yes, i am going to get beaten from my mom. And ‘if i tell the truth, she will not be allowing me to take the fruits again’, ‘Anyway she is not going to find out if i am taking or not’.

So who is the culprit?

I think it’s the parents who threaten the children with a lot of questions.

If we come to know that our children are lying, what can we do?

Let’s accept the fact that yes my child is lying.

Next thing is, without getting angry enquire about the situation.

Leave it as it is and when the waves in your mind calms down (I am sure the child will not even bother that i told a lie), discuss with the child saying that i came to know the truth and say what you expect from the child.

Never ever threaten the child saying ‘next time when you tell a lie, i will throw you somewhere or  if you tell a lie, you are a bad boy/girl etc.’

More than telling what all happen when you tell a lie, explain the child what all are the benefits of being truthful.

This is one suggestion that i gave my sister. She did apply it with her child and she did say sorry to her mother. Some children may not even say a sorry, but be patient and i am sure with love whatever we say to our child is going to stay in their mind and they will make use of it whenever they need it.